Beyond The Wand

Hilarious Excerpts from Henry Makow’s “How To Recognize A Satanist (Part Two).”

Original page found here.

Yes Wicca is evil as well. Though Satanists do kill, the difference is they may kill a few people a year. When a Luciferian is in power, he may kill millions in a planned war. Take George W. Bush for example. Luciferians have power. They hang out at The Bohemian Grove. That’s when they’re not in male bath houses.

I cannot get the mental image of a 12-year-old boy sitting by the campfire holding a flashlight up under his face when I read this paragraph.  THE BOHEMIAN GROVE!  *thundercrack!*  And EEEEEEEEEW MALE BATH HOUSES!  GRODY!

If suspicious, just follow them on ceremony nights. Just do a key search on Satanic Holiday calendar.

Suspect your neighbor is a Satanist?  TRY STALKING THEM!  *nodnod*  I mean, it’s not like if these people are as morally depraved as Samuel Butler says they are, they’ll just brutally sacrifice you if they catch you or anything, nope.

More signs to look for can be missing cats, in your neighborhood.

…Which is going to be pretty much every neighborhood, ever.  Considering that cats get hit by cars, or end up getting killed by dogs or even wild predators all the time… yeah.

Even young children that come up missing..make note of Satanic ceremony dates. Keep watch of yours, and other neighborhood children a week prior. It is said certain demonic known biker gangs are involved in these kidnappings.


If you have a gut feeling of evil or ‘something’s not right’ in an area, you’re probably correct. Negative energy seems to stay in an area afterward. Look for pagan signs in their house, or office. They seem to like animals with horns, even dragons.

I knew there was something off about that old lady with all the cow figurines and stuff on her desk.  I KNEW IT!!!

Most Satanic compounds have very tall chain link fences perhaps adorned with razor wire. There will be an underground hidden bunker there as well. Make sure no one is in there before you implode it ;-) 

Breaking into and destroying private property = best advice since suggesting people should stalk suspected Satanists!

From the fundies: When you do X, you’re “unknowingly” worshiping pagan gods/Satan

From a recent post that appeared on FSTDT:

I do not want to stereotype but most athiests i have met were gays. Yet they fail to notice that when they engage in sexual activity that goes against procreation they take part in a ritual that worships baal peor.

Yes, it’s ridiculous to equate sex with worship of specific Canaanite deity.  That’s not the point.  The point is, there’s a lot of this “unknowing worship” buzz going around in certain fundie circles.

One example that immediately comes to mind is the claim that most people who celebrate Halloween are worshiping Satan without even realizing it.  Word is, somehow or another, people are supposed to move on from ignorant Satan worship to deliberate Satan worship.  Of course, how/when this transition is supposed to take place is never really made clear.

Another claim is that environmentalism is secretly Gaia worship, and that most of those who engage in it are unwittingly taking part in pagan religion. And again, at some point they’re supposed to become aware of it and just embrace it.  Why/how is never really explained.

So, what are your thoughts on the claim that accidental/unwitting worship is possible?

Loki would be a terrible Paperclip.


Loki: I see you’re trying to resolve some issues! Would you like some help?
Me: Oh, wow. I really would.
Loki: Great. *cracks knuckles* Let’s get started!
Me: ….
Loki: ….
Me: Um… Loki? Why’s… Everything on fire?
Loki: Shh. Shhhh. It helps. The fire helps.

But… but setting something on fire solves everything.  :P

(Source: ramblinglokean)

(Post reblogged from thiscrookedcrown)

The problem with a lot of social justice folks on Tumblr…

So, watching people deal with cultural appropriation and the like here, I’ve noticed a familiar pattern emerging.

  • The SJW decides to help promote awareness about a situation - which is good!  These causes need promoted!
  • The SJW starts letting a sense of righteousness go to xir head and starts behaving in a cocky, arrogant manner.
  • This in turn irritates more people than necessary the wrong way, which incites needless flamewars.
  • The result is that the SJW ends up wasting a lot of time and energy battling these people.
  • Which means productivity goes down, and the SJW may find it too exhausting to continue on.

Also, on the whole ‘tone-policing’ issue - yeah, people shouldn’t get hooked on your tone and should face on the message you’re trying to convey instead.  But here’s the deal - basic human biology isn’t going to change based on what should and shouldn’t be.  When faced with something that appears hostile, peoples’ critical thinking skills start diminishing and the ol’ fight-or-flight instincts start kicking in.  People cannot think straight when they’re in these states, which means that they’re less able to comprehend the message you’re trying to convey.

Yes, there are going to be people who see hostile tones in everything.  Nothing we can really do about these people.  But… in my observation, many of us are making things far harder for ourselves than we have to by behaving like cocky, self-righteous assholes.

Just causes do not justify poor technique.



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Some mistakes there.

1. The upside-down pentacle is associated with Satanism, all right, but it’s used for a lot more than that.  It’s even used in Wicca.

2. It’s just “Wicca,” not “Wiccanism.”

3. You’ll find your typical Satanist doesn’t worship a being “bent on destruction and suffering,” either.  Their view of Satan is a wee bit different.

Also, the snakey cross the the Rod of Asclepius

(Post reblogged from englishfangasms)


Do you think the reason we reach for the sky and explore the stars more than the murky depths of the ocean below is because we evolved from the ocean and somehow it feels known?

Do others become marine biologists or dream of being merpeople because it feels like home?

(Post reblogged from thiscrookedcrown)
I love how Jack Chick’s God/Jesus is such an unabashed dick.

I love how Jack Chick’s God/Jesus is such an unabashed dick.

(Photo reblogged from ohnojackchick)

Wickedly Witchy Audio or Text Survey Part… Sec is too lazy to number these again…


Secular Witch: As always, this is specifically a wickedly witchy survey, meaning it’s for witches. But if you aren’t a witch, and you’d totes love to do it. Feel free. Also, feel free to adjust things around to make it a better question. But seriously, don’t lose my header or you’ll drop ten thousand dimes this year and the next. No one likes their money running out of their pockets.
Prompt: How you would respond to this….
1. “But where did the rule, harm none, go?”
Down the terlet, where it belongs.
The rede was a bit of advice created by an adherent of a specific religion.  I don’t follow that religion, so I don’t see any particular need to follow the Rede.  Personally, I feel Wheaton’s Law - “Don’t Be A Dick” - works just as well.
2. “My, my, .. you must be new here if you think curses are real.”
Dunning-Kruger effect, much?
Yeh, uh, you agree that magic does stuff, right?  And that stuff can be good or bad?  And that a curse is basically bad stuff?
3. “You’re just wearing that outfit because you want to pretend to be a witch. Real witches don’t need you demonizing them.” 
No, I’m wearing this outfit because I’m Iron Man.
I dunno, no non-snarky answer to that because I don’t actually dress “oddly.”
4. “You must have only just started practicing because I’ve been doing this, this way for years.”
Naw man, I just found this way that works and didn’t see any reason to change it.
5. “Spells are only powerful if you make them yourself.”
I expect you have empirical data to back that up.
6. “All you need to do to learn how to be a witch is read a book.”
You can learn scads from reading, but you’re not likely to find everything you need in one book, especially since many books are just awful.
7. “Who is your matron deity, again?”
I don’t have one, thanks for asking.
8. “You can’t worship a cartoon or a celebrity, I mean, oh my (pagan) gods, they aren’t gods.”
Oh yes I can and there ain’t nuttin’ you girls can do about it.
9. “Oh I know about the fact the burning times weren’t like that at all, but you can’t say there weren’t some witches being burned at the stake - like in Massachusetts.”
Oh yes I can.  Nobody was burned in Salem.  Furthermore, the religious beliefs that people claim were persecuted back in the day did not exist at that point, period.
10. “Wait, you do cast a circle, right?”
Only when I feel it’s necessary.  Which I don’t recall when the last time even was…
11. “My religion, where we worship nature and love everyone, came totally before Christianity. I mean, obviously it’s better.”
Are you implying that older = better?  Because then I’ll happily trade you a 486 for your shiny new lappy.
12. “Pagans aren’t devil worshipers. *eye roll*”
While most pagans do not worship the devil, you can’t overlook those who worship Satan in one form or another.  Granted, no, you don’t really find people who worship the horned pitchfork-wielding boogeyman guy…
13. ‘Um, the real magick is over here.’
14. “I don’t understand what you’re talking about. There isn’t a way someone can target you with an item that you used - years ago.”
…That you know of.
15. “What do you mean that I should stop posting these images to facebook, but they are lovely and have glittery fonts and tell meaningful things like about how we aren’t satanists. duh.”
No amount of glitter can make inaccurate information okay.
Bonusssssssss: “Homg, I am so sorry, I forgot you weren’t out of the broom closet with your parents or your grand parents or all of your cousins and the rest of your family. Whoops! But they’re family they have to love you.”

Oh heheheheh, they do, but sometimes their form of love isn’t exactly nice or fair.

(Post reblogged from asksecularwitch)
(Link reblogged from crankykitten27-deactivated20130)

I’m starting to feel like Neopaganism is largely some kind of arts ‘n crafts and/or COLLECT ALL THE THINGS fest.