Secular Witch: As always, this is specifically a wickedly witchy survey, meaning it’s for witches. But if you aren’t a witch, and you’d totes love to do it. Feel free. Also, feel free to adjust things around to make it a better question. But seriously, don’t lose my header or you’ll drop ten thousand dimes this year and the next. No one likes their money running out of their pockets.
Prompt: How you would respond to this….
1. “But where did the rule, harm none, go?”
Down the terlet, where it belongs.
The rede was a bit of advice created by an adherent of a specific religion. I don’t follow that religion, so I don’t see any particular need to follow the Rede. Personally, I feel Wheaton’s Law - “Don’t Be A Dick” - works just as well.
2. “My, my, .. you must be new here if you think curses are real.”
Dunning-Kruger effect, much?
Yeh, uh, you agree that magic does stuff, right? And that stuff can be good or bad? And that a curse is basically bad stuff?
3. “You’re just wearing that outfit because you want to pretend to be a witch. Real witches don’t need you demonizing them.”
No, I’m wearing this outfit because I’m Iron Man.
I dunno, no non-snarky answer to that because I don’t actually dress “oddly.”
4. “You must have only just started practicing because I’ve been doing this, this way for years.”
Naw man, I just found this way that works and didn’t see any reason to change it.
5. “Spells are only powerful if you make them yourself.”
I expect you have empirical data to back that up.
6. “All you need to do to learn how to be a witch is read a book.”
You can learn scads from reading, but you’re not likely to find everything you need in one book, especially since many books are just awful.
7. “Who is your matron deity, again?”
I don’t have one, thanks for asking.
8. “You can’t worship a cartoon or a celebrity, I mean, oh my (pagan) gods, they aren’t gods.”
Oh yes I can and there ain’t nuttin’ you girls can do about it.
9. “Oh I know about the fact the burning times weren’t like that at all, but you can’t say there weren’t some witches being burned at the stake - like in Massachusetts.”
Oh yes I can. Nobody was burned in Salem. Furthermore, the religious beliefs that people claim were persecuted back in the day did not exist at that point, period.
10. “Wait, you do cast a circle, right?”
Only when I feel it’s necessary. Which I don’t recall when the last time even was…
11. “My religion, where we worship nature and love everyone, came totally before Christianity. I mean, obviously it’s better.”
Are you implying that older = better? Because then I’ll happily trade you a 486 for your shiny new lappy.
12. “Pagans aren’t devil worshipers. *eye roll*”
While most pagans do not worship the devil, you can’t overlook those who worship Satan in one form or another. Granted, no, you don’t really find people who worship the horned pitchfork-wielding boogeyman guy…
13. ‘Um, the real magick is over here.’
DAMMIT REAL MAGIC I TOLD YOU TO STAY PUT.
14. “I don’t understand what you’re talking about. There isn’t a way someone can target you with an item that you used - years ago.”
…That you know of.
15. “What do you mean that I should stop posting these images to facebook, but they are lovely and have glittery fonts and tell meaningful things like about how we aren’t satanists. duh.”
No amount of glitter can make inaccurate information okay.
Bonusssssssss: “Homg, I am so sorry, I forgot you weren’t out of the broom closet with your parents or your grand parents or all of your cousins and the rest of your family. Whoops! But they’re family they have to love you.”
Oh heheheheh, they do, but sometimes their form of love isn’t exactly nice or fair.